There were days where I receive resumes in bright red font colors. That was in the past though.

But then, there will be days where I receive email cover letters with rather interesting choice of colors for their fonts.

(Note: Email Cover Letters = Cover Letters that were written in the email body rather than in a separate document)

Example:

I suppose I can use the Outlook's feature "Edit Message" to view this cover letter. Which was what I was doing while taking the screenshot. Nonetheless, the color combination amused me.

Dear Jobseeker, 

Thank you for your resume, your contact number and your contact email. 

Now... what is your name? 


From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

Time to time I came across "interesting" resumes. On top of the other interesting ones previously blogged about, this particular resume came in several weeks back.

Interestingly enough, there was no name anywhere.

And I mean anywhere. There was no name in the email address except a jumble of selected alphabets; there was no name in the email body; there was no name in the resume file name (it was named as "resume.docx"); there was no name in the resume document itself.

I can't even find a godforsaken surname/last name I can address this person by.

There was, however, what I assumed to be his initials:

A.K

Ah yes. That is very helpful when you're looking for a job. Many companies would be thrilled to hire somebody they couldn't even identify properly.

 *rolls eyes*

Yes, I'm having a minor bitch moment there.

December is a tiring month for a recruiter.



Signing off
"A.C"
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

Read your resume carefully before sending it out. 


"Preventive Maintenance" and "Preventive Masturbation" are worlds apart. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

I am an avid surfer of FMyLife.com. For those of you out there thinking today is the worst day of your lives, please drop by the website. It's therapeutic.


This anecdote pops up on one of my daily views on the FML website.

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

Finding it utterly amusing, I forwarded this little anecdote to my fellow colleagues. After a good laugh to chase away the office blues, one of them decided to do a keyword search, to see if the word "masturbation" truly exists in the massive load of resumes we received.

And... yes, it did... on the employment history of an engineer

"Preventive masturbation of machinery...." 

Needless to say, we had another laugh.

Over time, I came to develop a mental list of "Top Weirdest Resumes".

Some of them were weird because of strange resume photos; others due to strange typography.

THIS particular hilarious gem, however, wins the new #1 spot on my rather disorganized list, all with a simple word.


Advice from the Desk:
Always, always, always read your resume two times before clicking the send button. Spending an extra 5 minutes won't kill your eyes.

Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Just for fun. =D Cheers!




Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

The name of this country is Singapore, or S'pore if you're really lazy. It is not Spore. 
We are not the reproductive structure of a plant. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

... 

I'm not exactly sure why job applicants can be in such a rush to send out an email, that they overlooked the aprostaphes.

Not exactly the best way to impress an employer or a recruiter of those "excellent English communication skills" of yours when you can't even compose an email using standard English, (never mind business standards)

I do take solace that these mistakes were never made by local Singaporeans. That would have been a truly facepalm moment.

Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

I understand the need in ensuring your CV attracts attention. However, your choice of font color #FF0000 is pushing it. Thank you.

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

Remember in the previous entry, I mentioned one of the two suicidal mistakes when writing their CVs? Yeah, this is the second one. 

Yes, there is a very strong need to ensure your CV attracts the attention of either the recruitment consultant or the HR officer reading. 

But... having your CV in full #FF0000 color is reeeeeally pushing the limits on making a CV "attractive".

To those of my readers who understand HTML color codings, you probably should know what color I am referring to.

In any case, this is the color I am talking about. 

Yes, it is bright red. 

No, I am not kidding when I say I received a CV in bright red.

And please, jobseekers, please, do not do a job-hunt suicide by choosing the worst color possible. There are better ways to do suicide during a job-search. 

Signing off,

Adeline,

From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

I appreciate your consideration in ensuring your CV is legible. However, font size 35 for the entire document is pushing it. Thank you.

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

I do hope all jobseekers out there do not make this one of two suicidal mistakes when writing their CVs. Yes, there is a very strong need to ensure your CV is first and foremost, viewable on the screen of the recipient. 

But... Is there really a need to do up a 10 page CV with font size 35? *facepalm*

In case anyone is interested... This is a screen capture of font size 35. (Please click on the thumbnail to see the original size)

Why would ANYONE write their resumes in this font size is beyond me.

Signing off,
Adeline,
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

My name is AdeL-I-N-E, not AdeL-A-I-D-E. I am not a state of Australia, thank you. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

... 

Following up from an incident with spelling errors, here's another one for laughs.

I wasn't entirely sure how to respond when I received an email from this jobseeker starting with "Dear Ms Adelaide." 

And the punchline? 

20 minutes later, he followed up with another email apologizing for attaching the wrong document. In this email, he still address me as "Adelaide". 

*sigh*

Ms Australia it is.

Signing off
AdeLINE,
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 


"Career" is spelled C-A-R-E-E-R. If you are seeking "carrier" advancement, please contact our Republic of Singapore, Airforce or Republic of Singapore, Navy. 


Or, if you're looking for an aircon, please visit Carrier Singapore Pte Ltd for a wide variety of choices. 


From the Desk of a Recruiter


*~*~*


More often than not, I receive simple resumes with a very simple email message, yet also, with a very glaring typo error in the email body. What started out with exasperation after reading these emails slowly became amusement.

As much as I'd like to be able to provide to every jobseeker's career objectives and needs, I regret to inform that "carriers" in any and all forms are beyond my abilities. If anyone should be interested to seek "carrier" advancement, please feel free to consult our Airforce or Navy. ;)


Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker,


I appreciate your efforts in inserting a photograph in your CV. But it is rather difficult for me to tell which of the five people in the photograph is you. 


From the Desk of a Recruiter


*~*~*


Welcome to the first of my series in "Resumes" boo-boos. These are real-life mistakes captured in my daily routine of screening resumes. It may seem funny, but, imagine what happens to your career if you should make one of such mistakes. 


A perfect resume is like a perfect man/woman. It does not exist. As long as it is right for you, it's a good resume - Desk of a Recruiter.

Right about 6 months into my job, I stopped taking for granted that every CV I receive will have a decent photograph of the applicant. It seems to be a lost art to find a photo-booth, take a passport-size photo, scan it and include it in the CV.

I have received, till date:

• Group photos. 
• Erm... Erm... I can see that these people had a great time at a BBQ, but... which one is the applicant?
  
  
• Pair photos 
• This wouldn't be too bad, except both models in the photograph are of the same gender. I still can't tell who is the applicant
  
  
• Self-taken photos in the mirror showing full-body portrait of the applicant and the background
• Right down to the cubicle doors of the toilet it was taken in.
  
  
• Self-taken camera photos from a top-down angle, showcasing originality in displaying home-made fish-eye effect 
• For an idea of what fish-eye effect is, please click here
  
  
• Self-taken photos using a web camera, with an arrow drawn using a thick red brush in Paint software pointing to the head of the applicant
• ?????????????

Welcome to the top 5 most eccentric photos I have received. (In no particular order) 

To all of those who had made the effort to do a professional shot, or just a very simple passport photo from any random photo booth (automated or otherwise), kudos to you and please keep it up. 

Note to all CV-writers there: If you don't have a decent photograph, please leave it blank. If you have to include in a picture for the opportunity you're applying for, please make a trip down to the photo booth. Taking any random shots from your collection of photos in Facebook or harddisk might not impress the recipient of the email. 

Signing off

Adeline

From the Desk of the Recruiter

One fine afternoon...

Adeline: Good Afternoon Mr Jobseeker, are you open to explore a career opportunity?


Jobseeker: Yes, but only in specific XXX technology as the IT administrator


Adeline: I have an opportunity here which is what you are looking at, but before I continue the discussion, may I know if there are any particular reasons for you wanting to leave your current company after only 6 months?


Jobseeker: I was hired as an IT administrator, but now I'm being tasked and designated to do IT development. Hence I'm only looking for an administrator opportunity in XXX technology


Adeline: I see. I do have an administrator opportunity in XXX. But would you be open to explore such an opportunity in a service provider environment?


Jobseeker: Vendor? I have attended interviews for almost all possible service providers for this administrator opportunity.


Adeline: Have you attended any interviews with my client, Company AAA?


Jobseeker: Never heard of them.


Adeline: If that's the case, would you like to explore an opportunity with them?


Jobseeker: But I have attended interviews for almost all service providers. I probably have attended an interview with your client before.


Adeline: Have you attended any interviews at Location BBB?


Jobseeker: Nope.


Adeline: If you haven't heard of my client's name and location, chances are, you have not attended interviews with them before. Since you are interested in this administrator opportunity, would you like to consider submitting your application?


Jobseeker: I have attended so much interviews for this administrator opportunity. I am interested in the opening, but I am just demoralized from attending so many interviews. I don't think I want to look for a job anymore.


Adeline: ...... 

*~*~*

The above conversation has been edited to ensure proper English decorum (i.e., grammar) is displayed on the blog, but of course, in real-life the recruiter and job-seeker alike don't talk in such pretty language.

The essence of the conversation, however, remains unedited, and yes, this very adorable jobseeker did say that classic line "demoralized from attending so many interviews".

After 36 months of recruitment, I was beginning to think I'm starting to understand the mindsets of jobseekers in general, but I guess, I have a very long way to go.

Signing off,
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter,