Dear Jobseeker, 

Thank you for your resume, your contact number and your contact email. 

Now... what is your name? 


From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

Time to time I came across "interesting" resumes. On top of the other interesting ones previously blogged about, this particular resume came in several weeks back.

Interestingly enough, there was no name anywhere.

And I mean anywhere. There was no name in the email address except a jumble of selected alphabets; there was no name in the email body; there was no name in the resume file name (it was named as "resume.docx"); there was no name in the resume document itself.

I can't even find a godforsaken surname/last name I can address this person by.

There was, however, what I assumed to be his initials:

A.K

Ah yes. That is very helpful when you're looking for a job. Many companies would be thrilled to hire somebody they couldn't even identify properly.

 *rolls eyes*

Yes, I'm having a minor bitch moment there.

December is a tiring month for a recruiter.



Signing off
"A.C"
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Recruitment 101

Lesson 3:


Never take it for granted that cover letters are professional documents. It may contain other information, such as a summary of the childhood memories of the job applicant had of his/her deceased father, 3 siblings and family teachings. 


*~*~*

Let it now be said. In a cover letter:

We DO NOT need to know:

1) Who raised you
2) The age your father passed away
3) The number of siblings you have and/or have to take care of
4) How your family's teaching has influenced you to be who you are.
5) How your ex-employer has mistreat you
6) How your wife thinks you should get a new job
7) How the arrival newborn child is motivating you to get a better paying job


We. Are. Not. Matchmakers. Or. Family. Counsellors


What we DO like to see:

1) Written descriptive of your educational qualification
2) 2-3 paragraphs of your professional experiences
3) How your experience can value-add to the listed vacancies
4) Your contact details



Resumes and Cover letters are professional representation of one's self. 

Leave personal history, your ah-gong/ah-ma/ah-pa/mummy/hubby/wife's teachings to gossip or chit-chat-sessions with your friends.


Yes, it's been a long Monday.



Signing off,
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

Read your resume carefully before sending it out. 


"Preventive Maintenance" and "Preventive Masturbation" are worlds apart. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

I am an avid surfer of FMyLife.com. For those of you out there thinking today is the worst day of your lives, please drop by the website. It's therapeutic.


This anecdote pops up on one of my daily views on the FML website.

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

Finding it utterly amusing, I forwarded this little anecdote to my fellow colleagues. After a good laugh to chase away the office blues, one of them decided to do a keyword search, to see if the word "masturbation" truly exists in the massive load of resumes we received.

And... yes, it did... on the employment history of an engineer

"Preventive masturbation of machinery...." 

Needless to say, we had another laugh.

Over time, I came to develop a mental list of "Top Weirdest Resumes".

Some of them were weird because of strange resume photos; others due to strange typography.

THIS particular hilarious gem, however, wins the new #1 spot on my rather disorganized list, all with a simple word.


Advice from the Desk:
Always, always, always read your resume two times before clicking the send button. Spending an extra 5 minutes won't kill your eyes.

Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

The name of this country is Singapore, or S'pore if you're really lazy. It is not Spore. 
We are not the reproductive structure of a plant. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

... 

I'm not exactly sure why job applicants can be in such a rush to send out an email, that they overlooked the aprostaphes.

Not exactly the best way to impress an employer or a recruiter of those "excellent English communication skills" of yours when you can't even compose an email using standard English, (never mind business standards)

I do take solace that these mistakes were never made by local Singaporeans. That would have been a truly facepalm moment.

Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of the Recruiter

It doesn't exist.

More often than not, I have requests from friends asking me for advise on resume writing. Other times, they simply ask me for THE template. I usually give them the template I use for myself.

Having said that, I update my resume regularly with the strictest expectations. My friends do not get the fresh-out-of-poly-blur-like-sotong version of my resume.

I remember writing on this blog once:

A perfect resume is like a perfect woman. It doesn't exist.

A resume, or a curriculum vitae, has only one purpose. To sell your abilities and experience to a prospective employer/recruitment consultant. As long as it achieved that purpose for you, it is your perfect resume.

However, it would be nice if you follow to certain norms expected of a resume, or any professional document for that matter.

1) Professional-looking photos, for goodness' sake

Photos are a part of the standard resume template. Google "resume template" and I am pretty sure more than 50% of templates you see includes a space for a passport photo of yourself.

I have received some weird photos in my time as a recruiter and most of my peers would have had similar experiences with eccentric resume photos. Let it be said that HR Managers and/or Recruiters do not really care how your wedding dress/prom dress looks like, so please choose an appropriate photo.

Just a gentle guideline on choosing the photo you wish to put in your resume.

- A plain white background. (We do not need to see cubicle doors)
- Just you, and you alone. (If a friend decides to hug you/kiss you while you are taking the photo, please ask to re-take)

2) Standard fonts will do.

Arial is a common favourite. Times New Roman being a close second. Other fonts resulting in a delightful resume includes Calibri, Verdana and Garamond.

So, please, dear jobseekers. Lucida Handwriting and Comic Sans MS are not suitable fonts for a resume. If you really have to use the above two fonts for any document, please ensure the document is not in anyway tied to a professional representation of yourself.

3) Standard font size will do 


This topic is a personal favourite ever since I received an extremely impressionable font-size-35-resume , I couldn't repeat any more often about the importance of font size in a resume.

Standard sizes of 10, 11, 12, or even 13 works well for a resume. Anything above 16 and below 20 should be used only as headers.

There is absolutely no reason why a resume would require the font size 35. I still don't get that.

Neither are there any reasons why a resume should be written in font sizes 5-8. I mean, you do want someone to read the words in your resume, don't you?

4) Standard font color will do 


Black on white goes together well. Very, very, very well. So please exploit that color combination to the best you can.

And avoid bright red in your resume whenever you can. You are writing a resume, not emulating a Facebook notification.

Having said that, avoid any variations of bright colors too. My eyes will thank you.

5) Avoid too many attachments. 


It is almost a daily occurrence for recruiters to receive resumes of a whopping 10MB. In case you don't realize, 10MB is almost the size of 2 (maybe 3) MP3 files.

Often, these resumes comes from zealous fresh graduates who attached their lifelong certificates, right down to their PSLE certifications. My record so far was receiving a job application with 15 attachments. Excluding the resume.

Yes, 15 attachments.

Note to the fresh graduates:

- Attach the appropriate certifications. If you are applying for an IT job, we do not need to receive Certificate of Participation for Basic Accounting I, II. and III.

- Resize the picture files if you have to.

- There is a wonderful software called "WinRar"


And with the above 5 points, I conclude this first entry of the year 2012. May everyone find their ideal jobs soon.

Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker,


"Negotiable" is not pronounced as "Ner-go-shia-TA-ble". It's "Ner-go-shia-ble".


Thank you.


From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

This was a story shared with me by a fellow colleague and it struck me as pretty amusing. It is a common experience, hence it's worth a share.

Signing off,
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter.

Dear Jobseeker, 

I understand the need in ensuring your CV attracts attention. However, your choice of font color #FF0000 is pushing it. Thank you.

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

Remember in the previous entry, I mentioned one of the two suicidal mistakes when writing their CVs? Yeah, this is the second one. 

Yes, there is a very strong need to ensure your CV attracts the attention of either the recruitment consultant or the HR officer reading. 

But... having your CV in full #FF0000 color is reeeeeally pushing the limits on making a CV "attractive".

To those of my readers who understand HTML color codings, you probably should know what color I am referring to.

In any case, this is the color I am talking about. 

Yes, it is bright red. 

No, I am not kidding when I say I received a CV in bright red.

And please, jobseekers, please, do not do a job-hunt suicide by choosing the worst color possible. There are better ways to do suicide during a job-search. 

Signing off,

Adeline,

From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

I appreciate your consideration in ensuring your CV is legible. However, font size 35 for the entire document is pushing it. Thank you.

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

I do hope all jobseekers out there do not make this one of two suicidal mistakes when writing their CVs. Yes, there is a very strong need to ensure your CV is first and foremost, viewable on the screen of the recipient. 

But... Is there really a need to do up a 10 page CV with font size 35? *facepalm*

In case anyone is interested... This is a screen capture of font size 35. (Please click on the thumbnail to see the original size)

Why would ANYONE write their resumes in this font size is beyond me.

Signing off,
Adeline,
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 

My name is AdeL-I-N-E, not AdeL-A-I-D-E. I am not a state of Australia, thank you. 

From the Desk of a Recruiter

*~*~*

... 

Following up from an incident with spelling errors, here's another one for laughs.

I wasn't entirely sure how to respond when I received an email from this jobseeker starting with "Dear Ms Adelaide." 

And the punchline? 

20 minutes later, he followed up with another email apologizing for attaching the wrong document. In this email, he still address me as "Adelaide". 

*sigh*

Ms Australia it is.

Signing off
AdeLINE,
From the Desk of the Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker, 


"Career" is spelled C-A-R-E-E-R. If you are seeking "carrier" advancement, please contact our Republic of Singapore, Airforce or Republic of Singapore, Navy. 


Or, if you're looking for an aircon, please visit Carrier Singapore Pte Ltd for a wide variety of choices. 


From the Desk of a Recruiter


*~*~*


More often than not, I receive simple resumes with a very simple email message, yet also, with a very glaring typo error in the email body. What started out with exasperation after reading these emails slowly became amusement.

As much as I'd like to be able to provide to every jobseeker's career objectives and needs, I regret to inform that "carriers" in any and all forms are beyond my abilities. If anyone should be interested to seek "carrier" advancement, please feel free to consult our Airforce or Navy. ;)


Signing off
Adeline
From the Desk of a Recruiter

Dear Jobseeker,


I appreciate your efforts in inserting a photograph in your CV. But it is rather difficult for me to tell which of the five people in the photograph is you. 


From the Desk of a Recruiter


*~*~*


Welcome to the first of my series in "Resumes" boo-boos. These are real-life mistakes captured in my daily routine of screening resumes. It may seem funny, but, imagine what happens to your career if you should make one of such mistakes. 


A perfect resume is like a perfect man/woman. It does not exist. As long as it is right for you, it's a good resume - Desk of a Recruiter.

Right about 6 months into my job, I stopped taking for granted that every CV I receive will have a decent photograph of the applicant. It seems to be a lost art to find a photo-booth, take a passport-size photo, scan it and include it in the CV.

I have received, till date:

• Group photos. 
• Erm... Erm... I can see that these people had a great time at a BBQ, but... which one is the applicant?
  
  
• Pair photos 
• This wouldn't be too bad, except both models in the photograph are of the same gender. I still can't tell who is the applicant
  
  
• Self-taken photos in the mirror showing full-body portrait of the applicant and the background
• Right down to the cubicle doors of the toilet it was taken in.
  
  
• Self-taken camera photos from a top-down angle, showcasing originality in displaying home-made fish-eye effect 
• For an idea of what fish-eye effect is, please click here
  
  
• Self-taken photos using a web camera, with an arrow drawn using a thick red brush in Paint software pointing to the head of the applicant
• ?????????????

Welcome to the top 5 most eccentric photos I have received. (In no particular order) 

To all of those who had made the effort to do a professional shot, or just a very simple passport photo from any random photo booth (automated or otherwise), kudos to you and please keep it up. 

Note to all CV-writers there: If you don't have a decent photograph, please leave it blank. If you have to include in a picture for the opportunity you're applying for, please make a trip down to the photo booth. Taking any random shots from your collection of photos in Facebook or harddisk might not impress the recipient of the email. 

Signing off

Adeline

From the Desk of the Recruiter